The time lapse between my last entry and this one is beyond ridiculous. I get into habits, but I can just as easily get out of the habit.  :S So much has happened over the past month and a half, there is no way I can account for it all~although the lack of documentation is a a bit saddening. But I must start anew somewhere-hence this post---

Yesterday was an interesting Easter. My Easter usually consists of going to church, and having lunch with my extended family at my house. Yesterday, however, my mom left for Europe-so we joourneyed to Washington D.C. to drop her off. While we were in the vicinity, we decided to visit Mark Dunsts church--Capital Hill Baptist. I loved it. It was growing, but not a mega church. It was solid but not dry. It was friendly but not fake. It was deep but not incomprehensible. It was large but still strangely intimate. 

We like it so much, we went back for the evening service---after sitting at Panera and doing homework in the afternoon of course~ :) The evening service showed how much that church was doing--and also how it is possible for a church of 600 members to still feel like family. People shared about the ministries of the church-its present and past members-for the majority of the time. Then they prayed for the concerns. It showed how much of a value they place on not only prayer, but relationships. It was refreshing. It was good. I would go back =)

The time in PA is drawing to a close-I leave to return to LU in just a few short hours---for three more weeks of craziness. Then I will be a sophomore. In college. Weird.  

so long-

i have had so much to write about, but have not made keeping a consistent blog a priority. this is a sad reality, but nevertheless, a reality indeed.

Things to be thankful for-

i am an official nursing student. i cannont wAiT until april when i can get my nursing uniform :)

i have a "real job." --working as a CNA at The Village of Laurel Run. after completing my CNA training in may-i will start my full time job there. the circumstances around obtaining this job can only be explained through God's grace and provision. the benefits to this are multifaceted~its crazy. anyway if all goes according to plan-i will make enough money to hopefully go oversees the summer after my sophomore year. how exciting is this??

woops! gotta go...

there is nothing better than a good cup of tea-(except a good cup of coffee :) at a unique coffee shop-with friends. an example of such a unique coffee shop is epitomized in a place named the white hart. i heart it--because it is so one of a kind. not only is it the site of an old irish pub--but its character goes beyond that. when you walk in, there is pottery for sale on the one wall...next to the pottery-is the coffee bar-where you can get the white hart brew (so good) or any other various drink--including your choice of over 20 loose leaf teas. next to the coffee bar- a real bar emerges--(they have the red strip beer which is the jamaican national beer-fyi.) the bar tender just adds to the picture. :] -then-if you are hungry-they also make real food. we ordered fries. the girl took out the potato-and put it through a hand chopper-then fried them. soo good--yet so random. the entire back end of the store is filled with books that are for sale...then, beyond the spare room-is this spacious back porch. i imagine groups of friends, sitting out there in the dusk of spring, heads close together as they discuss some revolutionary idea, while sipping african skies tea, or white hart coffee....in the main room...uneven wood board floors, rich wall colors, white pillars, arches, and a fireplace all add the the character of the place. when i was there last night there was a group of musicians playing there fiddles, banjos and guitars. they were absolutely amazing--didn't use a spot of music. talk about atmosphere. unreal...

i'm afraid of commitment. i discovered this at convo this morning--when those who wanted to commit their lives to full-time missions were asked to stand. i have talked of my dream of going to africa-and using my nursing education for those less fortunate-but if saying yes to full-time missions was like signing to the armed forces-i'm not sure i could sign. this is my personality on a  lot of things. people ask me-are you doing this? will you commit to this? and i always answer with-i'm not sure. i wait until the last minute to decide things-so that i leave the door open for changes. maybe it's a trust issue. can i surrender control of my future to God? nursing in itself is a way of having security. i tell myself that no matter what happens-i will always have a good job-i will never want of anything. this isn't necessarily good-it gives me a reason to trust in my own abilities-rather than to be totally dependent on God. 

a friend said something today that made me think. it isn't the major that God uses-it's our heart-completely surrendered to His purposes. He isn't asking me to commit to 50 years of my life in Africa-He is asking me to be faithful. to trust. one step at a time--i don't need to have my life figured out. i just need to be willing to go anywhere-for the cause of Christ. and he will provide what i need for each step of the way.

i keep thinking that my future is faaar in the future. false. time has gone so fast-this semester is flying by-and before i know it, my freshman year will be finished. crazy-scary thought...

i'm feeling sorry for myself hardcore right now. i need to get over it pronto. i am sooooo blessed~

-i have three major tests this week-and i have been studying-yet for the past few hours, this dedication has lagged. i believe i could trace this phenomenon to the fact that I am in my room, which for some reason is the hardest place for me to concentrate-even with my roommate snoozing quietly on the other side of the room...

there is so much information-yet i enjoy learning it, and only wish that i could retain all the information i have been pouring over. what a potentially amazing nurse i would be if i didn't forget? hmmmm...needless to say-the next few days promise to be painful. school. food. exercise. and studying. serves me right for my work ethic for the past month. oh! and i may go to a local coffee shop with jordan tomorrow night-coffee makes everything less painful :) as do friends. 

speaking of jordan, i cut his hair again tonight. it boggles my mind to think he trusted me TWICE with his locks-haha especially with my haphazard pull and snip method of executing a hair cut. i enjoy it-you never now what might happen when i get the scissors :) chuckle. 

happy memories of the day: breakfast with Elena. christina's bucket list :) water chugging contest. haha totally embarrassing myself in the quiet study room... a 45 min class instead of a 3 hr class. eating real food :D doing the Caribbean dance class. singing elephant love melody wayyy loud in abby's car. eating a pickle. cutting hair...

when I grow up...

So maybe these pictures are a little weird...but I'm in a reminiscent mood. You see, I turned in my application to the Nursing Department today. This is a big step for me it seems. My future is not so in the future anymore...I am living my future. Weird thought.... Anyway, the these pics are of a necklace that my aunt gave me when I was just a little girl. Back when I said I want to be a nurse when I grow up...I love this necklace-and keep it right above my desk so I never forget my end goal-nor those who have supported me...

 

When I graduated from highschool-a close family friend gave me this pink stethoscope. No doubt my favorite present EvEr...

It was amazing today to sit and reflect over what all God has done to get me to this point. Who knew that I would be where I am today five years ago? Back then I wanted to cook. :D But God knew. And he knows where I will be in five years too. How comforting is that?

So-here I stand-officially applied to the Liberty University Nursing Program~

Sigh. Relief.