there is nothing better than a good cup of tea-(except a good cup of coffee :) at a unique coffee shop-with friends. an example of such a unique coffee shop is epitomized in a place named the white hart. i heart it--because it is so one of a kind. not only is it the site of an old irish pub--but its character goes beyond that. when you walk in, there is pottery for sale on the one wall...next to the pottery-is the coffee bar-where you can get the white hart brew (so good) or any other various drink--including your choice of over 20 loose leaf teas. next to the coffee bar- a real bar emerges--(they have the red strip beer which is the jamaican national beer-fyi.) the bar tender just adds to the picture. :] -then-if you are hungry-they also make real food. we ordered fries. the girl took out the potato-and put it through a hand chopper-then fried them. soo good--yet so random. the entire back end of the store is filled with books that are for sale...then, beyond the spare room-is this spacious back porch. i imagine groups of friends, sitting out there in the dusk of spring, heads close together as they discuss some revolutionary idea, while sipping african skies tea, or white hart coffee....in the main room...uneven wood board floors, rich wall colors, white pillars, arches, and a fireplace all add the the character of the place. when i was there last night there was a group of musicians playing there fiddles, banjos and guitars. they were absolutely amazing--didn't use a spot of music. talk about atmosphere. unreal...

i'm afraid of commitment. i discovered this at convo this morning--when those who wanted to commit their lives to full-time missions were asked to stand. i have talked of my dream of going to africa-and using my nursing education for those less fortunate-but if saying yes to full-time missions was like signing to the armed forces-i'm not sure i could sign. this is my personality on a  lot of things. people ask me-are you doing this? will you commit to this? and i always answer with-i'm not sure. i wait until the last minute to decide things-so that i leave the door open for changes. maybe it's a trust issue. can i surrender control of my future to God? nursing in itself is a way of having security. i tell myself that no matter what happens-i will always have a good job-i will never want of anything. this isn't necessarily good-it gives me a reason to trust in my own abilities-rather than to be totally dependent on God. 

a friend said something today that made me think. it isn't the major that God uses-it's our heart-completely surrendered to His purposes. He isn't asking me to commit to 50 years of my life in Africa-He is asking me to be faithful. to trust. one step at a time--i don't need to have my life figured out. i just need to be willing to go anywhere-for the cause of Christ. and he will provide what i need for each step of the way.

i keep thinking that my future is faaar in the future. false. time has gone so fast-this semester is flying by-and before i know it, my freshman year will be finished. crazy-scary thought...

i'm feeling sorry for myself hardcore right now. i need to get over it pronto. i am sooooo blessed~

-i have three major tests this week-and i have been studying-yet for the past few hours, this dedication has lagged. i believe i could trace this phenomenon to the fact that I am in my room, which for some reason is the hardest place for me to concentrate-even with my roommate snoozing quietly on the other side of the room...

there is so much information-yet i enjoy learning it, and only wish that i could retain all the information i have been pouring over. what a potentially amazing nurse i would be if i didn't forget? hmmmm...needless to say-the next few days promise to be painful. school. food. exercise. and studying. serves me right for my work ethic for the past month. oh! and i may go to a local coffee shop with jordan tomorrow night-coffee makes everything less painful :) as do friends. 

speaking of jordan, i cut his hair again tonight. it boggles my mind to think he trusted me TWICE with his locks-haha especially with my haphazard pull and snip method of executing a hair cut. i enjoy it-you never now what might happen when i get the scissors :) chuckle. 

happy memories of the day: breakfast with Elena. christina's bucket list :) water chugging contest. haha totally embarrassing myself in the quiet study room... a 45 min class instead of a 3 hr class. eating real food :D doing the Caribbean dance class. singing elephant love melody wayyy loud in abby's car. eating a pickle. cutting hair...

when I grow up...

So maybe these pictures are a little weird...but I'm in a reminiscent mood. You see, I turned in my application to the Nursing Department today. This is a big step for me it seems. My future is not so in the future anymore...I am living my future. Weird thought.... Anyway, the these pics are of a necklace that my aunt gave me when I was just a little girl. Back when I said I want to be a nurse when I grow up...I love this necklace-and keep it right above my desk so I never forget my end goal-nor those who have supported me...

 

When I graduated from highschool-a close family friend gave me this pink stethoscope. No doubt my favorite present EvEr...

It was amazing today to sit and reflect over what all God has done to get me to this point. Who knew that I would be where I am today five years ago? Back then I wanted to cook. :D But God knew. And he knows where I will be in five years too. How comforting is that?

So-here I stand-officially applied to the Liberty University Nursing Program~

Sigh. Relief.

ah superbowl...

Go StEeLeRs....! woot-tonight was fun. I honestly am not even a football fan-but of course i'm from pa--so what do u expect? :D There were so many people there tonight--we made a legit meal-steaks-potatoes-green beans-rolls-meatballs-chicken-a ton of snacks...cakes :) and mud dessert---drinks and sweet tea...the boys had it good-and loved it :) We served them and everything--i think it impressed them-some said it went beyond what they did for us-others said it was close-but anyway you look at it-it was a lot of time-and love put into the meal :) Abby, Mary and I did our part-the cakes--which are pictured above. We were quite proud of them. Oh-they need an explanation though :) we have the self explanatory football cake---with the steelers bleachers, and cardinal bleachers on each side. The bottom picture is when they were just made. Anyway--so then we made the faces of everyone who was coming--with their funniest facebook face :) When they came in-we asked what team they were rooting for-and stuck them in the respective stands... :) ahhh happiness.

So we ended up not going to Grace this morning. Mary's phone died-so she didn't wake up. :(I was quite disappointed-but it ended up being good-because we went to campus church-and i needed to hear that message. About how this part of our lives is the preparation. About how its not enough to just pass-or just get by-but that we should  be planning for our future-investing in our education. We should be trying to stretch our minds and be as ready as we can for what God may use us for in the future. PlAnNiNg ahead=being responsible. being purposeful. not procrastinating. studying before hanging out. All these things are things i have been doing a pretty rotten job at recently. I need to be disciplined enough that i chose what I should do above what i want to do. It is so easy to say-this is what I am going to do/be in 4 years, in 7 years, in 23 years...but i'm not going to jump from my current condition-to super wise, disciplined wonder God woman in these years--living an average-mediocre life on a day to day basis. This is a hard reality to grasp. An even harder one to live.